


Two's Company, Three's a Crowd, and Four is...Really Messy

by TaleasOldasTimeandSpace



Series: Yet Another Gratuitously Fluffy Darcyland Soulmate AU [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Darcy Lewis is Tony Stark's Daughter, Darcy has lots of soulmates, Darcy is having a really long day, Darcyland, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Multi, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, SHIP DARCY WITH ALL THE THINGS, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tony is an overprotective dad, and would like it to be done, please and thank you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 15:36:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7624258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaleasOldasTimeandSpace/pseuds/TaleasOldasTimeandSpace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most people have one soulmate.  Darcy has three.<br/>She's not the only one, apparently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two's Company, Three's a Crowd, and Four is...Really Messy

**Author's Note:**

> This one's for Shea, who provide the prompt and Darcy's freakout. In return, I give you this glorious chaos.

Darcy was starting to suspect her life was a game orchestrated for the amusement of people who didn’t have to live through all the weird she endured on a daily basis.  There was no doubt about it—any day now the camera would pan out to reveal that she was actually a tiny person living in the centre of a futuristic lab, filled with giant lab rats in white coats running tests and making notes on her behaviour.  Only pseudo-scientific rats would think it was funny to give her three— _three_ —soulmarks on top of the most crazy-overprotective dad and uncle on the face of the planet.  Not to mention continually putting her in situations that made their smothering sound frustratingly reasonable.

Like, well, _now_ , for instance.

She glared at the sky.  ‘I hope you’re enjoying yourselves,’ she yelled, shaking her fist.  ‘Stupid fanfiction-writing rodents with their stupid delusions of godhood.’  A nearby explosion sent her diving for cover in a nearby doorway.  She didn’t know what the monster of the week was, but it was between her and the Tower.  And it was getting closer.  She banged her head on the doorframe and whined.  ‘All I wanted was coffee.  Is that too much to ask?!  At this rate, Dad’s never going to let me out of the Tower again.’

Something landed beside her and she whirled, pulling her taser out of her bag.  A cute guy—at least, she thought he was cute; it was hard to tell with the _look-at-me-I’m-cool_ goggles—with metal wings held up his hands, watching her warily as he spoke into his comm.  ‘Yeah, I’ve got her Tony.  She’s fine, just tried to tase me.  _I’m_ fine too, by the way.  Thanks for asking.’  Lowering his hands, he said, _‘Hello, I’ll be your pilot today.  You don’t get airsick, do you?’_

She snorted, crossing her arms.  _‘My uncle is a lieutenant colonel in the Air Force and my dad is Iron Man.  I’ve been flying since I was three.’_

He grinned.  ‘Do you know how terrified I’ve been of meeting you?  If we get into any kind of argument, your dad will end me.’  He held out an arm and she stepped into his embrace, looping her arms around his neck as he launched them into the air.

‘Dad knows if he tries to end one of my Platonics, I’ll end _him_.’

‘Wait, _one_ of you Platonics?’

She grinned.  ‘Awww, did you think you were special?  That’s _adorable.’_   Patting his shoulder, she added, ‘If it makes you feel better, you’re the first one I’ve met.’

‘That makes me like your older brother!  That means I get to boss you around and stuff.’

She contemplated flicking his ear, but decided that could wait until they were on the ground and not at risk of falling out of the sky.  ‘Yeah, good luck with that.  If Tony Stark has yet to successfully boss me around, you have no chance.  But don’t worry—you can look forward to a long, happy life as my minion.’

‘Hey!  Why am _I_ the—’ he cut himself off, swerving to avoid a laser blast.

What kind of nutjob had _lasers?!_

A second blast clipped his wing, sending them into a spiral as he fought to land without splattering them all over the pavement.  They hit hard, but they were still in one piece.  ‘Nice work, dude.  I guess I’ll keep you after all.’

‘Yippee.  My life can truly begin.  And it’s Sam, by the way.’

‘Darcy.’  They shook hands.  ‘Now that we’ve been formally introduced, how do you plan to get us to safety?’

‘I thought I was the minion!  Why do _I_ have to come up with the brilliant escape plan?’

‘Uh, ‘cause you got the firepower and practical experience?’

‘Well, true, but—’

Whatever he was going to say was lost when a beat-up VW Bug pulled up next to them.  A man with a metal arm pushed open the door and said, ‘Get her in the car, Birdseed!’

Darcy dug in her heels.  _‘Did the lab rats send you?’_ she asked suspiciously.  He gave her a flat look.  _‘Never mind.  Just say “Come with me if you want to live” and I can die happy.’_

_‘Didn’t see any rats.  Just lizards.  Big lizards.  With lasers.  And unless you want to get fried by those lasers, I suggest you get your rear in this car.  Now!’_

‘Yeesh, two in one day?  What is _up_ with the universe?’ Darcy muttered as she slid into the backseat.

‘Wait, Bucky’s your soulmate too?’ Sam demanded as he got in and slammed the door.

‘Bucky, huh?  Darcy.  Pleased to know you.  Yeah, my other Platonic.  So you guys better get along.’

Bucky met her eyes briefly in the rearview mirror.  _‘You’re_ soulmates with Horsefeathers here too?’

‘Yeah.’  She watched as they gave each other weird side-eyes.  ‘Wait, what’s up with you two?’

Sam twisted in his seat to grin at her.  ‘So you know how you have more than one Platonic…?’

‘Yeah…?’  He watched her expectantly.  ‘No!  You’re Platonics too?!’

Bucky mumbled something under his breath.  It sounded like _unfortunately._

She put an offended hand on her chest.  ‘Not even five minutes in and you’re already cheating on me?’

Sam patted her hand.  ‘Aww, did you think you were special?  You’re right, that _is_ adorable!’

She gave into the impulse to flick his ear.  ‘You’re not as funny as you think you are.’

‘That’s what _I_ keep telling him,’ said Bucky.

Sam pinched his cheek.  ‘I love you, too.’

Somehow, Bucky managed to turn a corner and elbow Sam in the gut at the same time.  Darcy was impressed.

‘Besides,’ Sam added, ‘if you think about it, technically _you’re_ cheating on _me._   I mean, we barely met five minutes ago, and already I’m not enough for you.’

Darcy crossed her arms.  ‘Better get used to it buddy.  I’ve still got one to go.  Although hopefully not today.  My dad’s going to freak as it is.  Two crazy soldier boys for soulmates.  He’s never going to let me leave the Tower again.’

‘Dad?’ Bucky asked.

‘Tony,’ Sam supplied helpfully.  ‘Don’t worry, Darcy.  We’ll break you out.  Or start calling you Rapunzel.  One or the other.’

‘Tony Stark is your dad?  You know what, never mind.  That makes perfect sense.’

‘I mean, he still hasn’t forgiven me for New Mexico.  Or London.  As if either one was my fault!  I saved a dog in New Mexico.  A dog!  Dude, I saved the _world_ in London.’

‘You’re a strong, independent woman who can take care of herself,’ Sam interjected.

‘Darn tootin’ I am!’

Bucky glanced at Sam.  _Darn tootin’?_ he mouthed.  Sam shrugged.  _Don’t question it, man,_ he mouthed back.

‘You know I can see you guys, right?’

Bucky glanced at her through the rearview mirror again and opened his mouth—

—and slammed on the breaks as a body came flying out of nowhere and landed on the windshield.

Darcy pried her face out of the back of Sam’s seat.  ‘Maybe just once today somebody could finish a sentence without a dramatic interruption.  Sounds good, doesn’t it?  Awesome.’

Bucky dove out of the car and shot the giant lizard that was aiming its laser gun in their direction.  Turning back, he eyed the crumpled figure on the Bug.  ‘You good?’

The figure groaned.  ‘I had him on the ropes.’

Bucky snorted.  ‘Sure you did.’  He held out a hand, pulling the other man off the car.  ‘Are there any more?’

‘Nope, that was the last of them.’  He dusted himself off and turned around to pick up a shield that had landed next to the car, and Darcy realized that Captain America had just been thrown nearly through the windshield of her getaway car.  Just when she thought her day couldn’t get any weirder.  Wait, no, she really shouldn’t think things like that.

He waved at Sam, then caught sight of Darcy.  _‘Hi there.  Sorry about dropping in like that.’_

Darcy blinked at him.  Holding up a finger, she said, _‘Excuse me while I freak out for a minute.’_   She started pacing back and forth, flailing her hands and muttering, ‘Three soldiers?  Three _guy_ soldiers?!  My dad is going to kill me! Then Uncle Rhodey is going to…On top of that…Three Avengers…Uhgg, I don't even want to think about it!’  Finally, she stopped, closing her eyes and sucking in a deep breath.  ‘Okay.  Calm.  I am calm.  We’re good.  It’s all good.’

Sam snickered.  ‘You’re telling me _Steve_ is your Platonic too?’

‘Huh?  Oh, no.  He’s not my Platonic.  He’s my Romantic.’  She froze, eyes sliding back to Steve, who was watching her with an expression that warred between trepidation and delight.  ‘Oh.  Right.  He’s my _Romantic._   _Captain America_ is my Romantic.  This, I can work with.’  She started back toward him, but yelped as she bounced off two sets of broad shoulders.

Sam and Bucky stood side-by-side, arms crossed, glaring at Steve.  ‘Not so fast, Darce,’ Sam said.

‘No, guys, it’s okay!’  Darcy attempted to squirm between them.  ‘Soulmate, remember?’

Bucky was disgustingly immobile.  ‘We gotta make sure he’s good enough for you.’

‘Hey!’ Steve squawked indignantly.

‘He’s _Captain freakin’ America!_   Of _course_ he’s good enough!’  Darcy tried going around.  Bucky caught the back of her sweater and deposited her behind them again.

‘He’s a punk, is what he is.’

‘I’m _right here_ , jerk!’

Sam nodded seriously.  ‘You’re absolutely right, Darcy.’  She brightened.  ‘He’s Captain America.  And have you watched the news lately?  Dude does _not_ have a track record for making good decisions.’

Bucky smirked at Sam.  ‘That’s a very good point.’

Darcy scowled.  ‘Oh, _now_ you decide to get along with each other?’

‘Come on, guys!’  Steve eyed Sam and Bucky like he was contemplating using his shield on them.  ‘You’re supposed to be on my side!’

‘Sorry, punk.  She’s our soulmate.  We gotta look out for her.’

Darcy slapped the back of Bucky’s head.  He didn’t even _twitch._   ‘ _He’s_ my soulmate too, genius!’

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose.  ‘I’m _all_ of your soulmate!’

‘Wait, seriously?’ Darcy paused in her efforts to get around her (annoying) Platonics.  ‘We’re all soulmates?  I’m gonna need a minute to process that.’

There was a whine of repulsors behind her, signaling the arrival of Iron Man.

Darcy sighed.  ‘Good minute.  Thanks for that.’

Tony opened his faceplate and grinned at his daughter.  ‘There you are, Kiddo!  Making new friends, I see?  At least they managed to get you back in one piece.’  He wrapped an arm around Darcy, waving at the three Avengers behind her.  ‘Thanks, guys.’

Darcy knocked on his armour.  ‘Dad, I need to tell you something.  I met my soulmate today.’

‘Oh?’  An _edge_ crept into his voice.  Who?’

She jerked a thumb at the assembled (semi)super soldiers.  ‘Them.’

Tony looked at them for a long moment.  ‘Nope.’   He scooped Darcy up and flew to the top of the Tower.  ‘Young lady, you’re never leaving this tower again.  JARVIS, I need you to ban Larry, Moe, and Curly from the building.’

‘JARVIS, don’t you dare!”  Darcy had always mildly despised the Little Mermaid growing up, but if there was ever a time for a whiny _Daddy I’m twenty-six years old, I’m not a child!_ it was now.  Especially if her dad was going to start channeling a Disney villain.  ‘They’re my soulmates, Dad, and you locking me in my room isn’t going to change that.’

Tony ignored her.  ‘Rhody!  I need you back at the Tower!  Huey, Dewey, and Louie think they’re Darcy’s soulmates and I need you to help me keep them away from her.’

There was a long pause.  ‘Wingnut’s soulmates are three cartoon ducks?’  Rhody asked cautiously.

‘Don’t call me Wingnut!’ Darcy yelled indignantly.

‘Oh, hey Darcy!  You have three cartoon ducks for soulmates?’

Tony rolled his eyes.  ‘Rogers and his boy-band wannabes, Rhody.’

‘…I’ll be right there.’

Darcy sighed, banging her head lightly on Tony’s shoulder.

They landed on her personal balcony.  She stepped away from Tony, crossing her arms.  ‘Look, Dad.  I love you.  Nothing’s going to change that.  And I know you have this weird love/hate relationship with Steve, Bucky, and Sam.  But I’m twenty-six years old.  I’m old enough to make my own decisions.  And if I decided I want to spend time with my soulmates, I’ll do that, even if I have to move out of the Tower.’

Tony pouted.  _‘_ Fine,’ he huffed.

‘Besides, Sam and Bucky have appointed themselves as my big brothers, so I’ll be lucky if I get to spend any time alone with Steve at all.’

He brightened at that.

She rolled her eyes.  ‘Now if you’ll excuse me…’  She turned to her desk and slipped on a pair of matching bracelets—which she really should have been wearing earlier, see if she made _that_ mistake again—and ran back to the terrace just as War Machine landed.  ‘Later, Uncle Rhody!’ she yelled, and threw herself off the balcony as her own personal purple and green armour formed around her.  She could hear Tony yelling for her to come back, but she just laughed and tossed him a salute.

Her soulmates were still in the street where she’d left them.  With a couple of flashy barrel rolls—she _was_ her father’s daughter, after all—she landed next to Steve and popped open her faceplate.  ‘Now, where were we?’

He grinned at her.  ‘I think we were trying to talk to each other without being interrupted.’

‘Right.  So this, then.’  She grabbed the front of his uniform and pulled his lips down to hers.  He made a brief noise against her mouth before relaxing into the kiss and wrapping his arms around her.

When they broke apart, she saw Iron Man and War Machine hovering behind them, arms crossed in identical Disapproving Dad mode.  On the ground, Sam was smirking at her, while Bucky was watching her and Steve with soft smile.  He looked like he wanted to pinch their cheeks.

Looking back to Steve, she caught his happy gaze and smiled.  She could get used to this.

**Author's Note:**

> Sam and Bucky snarking at each other like a couple of grumpy five-year-olds is a thing of beauty and truly the best thing to come out of CA:CW. They are, however, united in their desire to annoy the living daylights out of Steve and make it their mission in life to 'protect' Darcy from him. Darcy is not amused.
> 
> This turned into a convoluted monster, but I'm pleased with it anyway.
> 
> Got a prompt? Leave it below, or [shoot the breeze](https://taleasoldastime-andspace.tumblr.com/ask) on my tumblr.


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